If we’re lucky, our dogs can be with us for up to 13 years, if not longer. They’re by our side for some of life’s major moments, and they truly cement themselves as an integral part of the family.
As much as we don’t want to think about it, there will come a day when we will have to say goodbye to our beloved furry friend, and for those who have never experienced the loss of a pet, it really can impact your life in many ways.
As each of our dogs are different, so are the ways we deal with their loss. We’re not saying it will ever be an easy process, but Pooch & Mutt are here to support you with some ways that can help you through this difficult time – and make things a little more manageable for you and your family.
How to help children to understand losing your dog
Your dog becomes a part of your family, and many children would never have known their home without their furry friend. So when the time comes where you have to say goodbye to your dog, how do you explain this loss to young children?
No matter how you approach informing your children, there’s going to be some upset. However, there are ways to delicately approach the subject that avoid lots of tears and misunderstandings – especially for very young children.
- Try to be as honest as possible. Telling white lies, like saying your dog’s ‘gone to live on a farm’ or ‘ran away’ may cause even more confusion, or make them believe they’re coming back. This will only cause more upset if questions continue to persist.
- Use the Rainbow Bridge analogy. ‘Crossing the Rainbow Bridge’ is a common way for people to let others know their pet has passed away. Letting young children know that your dog has ‘crossed the rainbow bridge’ is a kinder way to approach telling them about their passing.
- Let them express their feelings. Grief shows itself in very different ways, especially with children who may have never come across death before. Allow them to express their feelings in any way they want – whether that’s to cry, feel angry or be in denial.
- Support them however they feel. Don’t be afraid to show your own feelings and be there to offer love, patience and answers when they come to you. And hey, a cuddle wouldn’t hurt – and would probably do you some good too!
- Use books as a support. It’s likely that your child will spend time thinking about what’s happened. There are lots of different materials and books out there, which could really help them to understand and unpack their feelings. Whether it’s fiction or non-fiction, take some time to choose a book or story that you think they might connect with.
- Help them remember. Celebrate your dog’s life with your children by talking about the good times, asking them their favourite memories or encouraging them to make something for a shrine or memorial. By getting them to think creatively, you can keep them occupied whilst your family begins the mourning process.
How to look after yourself when losing your dog
It can be easy to forget someone else – yourself. During this difficult time, be sure to prioritise your mental health and do what you can to help yourself and others around you who may also be hurting.
To be kind to yourself through this process, you could;
- Take some time just for yourself. Like getting some fresh air, meditating, finding distractions or giving yourself a break away from the situation.
- If possible, take some time off work.
- Don’t forget to talk. Airing your feelings to friends and family about the situation could surprisingly make you feel a little lighter.
- Remember the good times. Take time to think about all the precious memories you had with your dog, and everything you’re thankful for.
- Celebrate your dog’s life. Take time as a family to discuss ways you can commemorate them once they’ve passed.
Ways to commemorate your dog
Although feelings of sadness and grief are inevitable, the loss of your beloved dog brings forth a time for celebration – celebrating the life they had, and the overwhelming joy they brought to your home.
That said, there are plenty of ways you can commemorate your dog, and help you to remember them as the years tick on. Creating something to signify your dog’s life not only helps to represent the impact they had, but also helps you along the difficult journey of mourning your loss.
Ways you can commemorate your dog after they’ve passed include:
- Creating a memorial. Did your dog have a favourite place to walk? A preferred snooze spot in your garden? You could consider creating a memorial in this space to honour your dog’s life. This could be in the form of a bespoke plaque, something to plant or a kind gesture to other dogs – like offering tennis balls in a public place.
Make sure to check with your local council before erecting anything in a public space. - Creating a photo album or scrapbook. You’re sure to have reels upon reels of pictures of your pooch. So why not spend an afternoon placing some of those photos in frames or placing them in a scrapbook? You can discuss your favourite memories and all the good times they brought forth whilst you do so.
- Displaying their favourite belongings or collars. Clearing out your dog’s things will surely be one of the hardest things to do after they’ve passed. Be sure to save some of their favourite things, like a toy, blanket or even their collar to display in remembrance. These can either sit on the shelf as an everyday reminder, or in a display case or frame.
- Preserving their paw or nose print. If you’re lucky enough to be able to say goodbye to your dog before they pass, you could take a final print of their paw or nose to have a part of them forever. This can either be an ink print or in soft clay.
- Bespoke art or jewellery. With dogs having a special place in all of our hearts, it’s easy to find small businesses that make bespoke jewellery or art from a picture of your dog. This makes for a beautiful token which you can keep forever. Some companies can place some of your dog’s ashes in a piece of jewellery. Wearing this could offer some real comfort, knowing they’re always with you, continuing on together through life’s journey.
- Spreading their ashes or holding a burial. If you decide to cremate your pup or bring them back home, you could hold a service to spread their ashes or give them a final resting place. Although rare, pet burial grounds do exist, but the current most common method is cremation.
Always check with your local council before spreading ashes or conducting burials in a public place.
Helping children understand and cope with the loss of a beloved dog is a delicate and important task. By being honest, using gentle analogies like the Rainbow Bridge, and allowing them to express their emotions freely, you can support them through this difficult time.
Additionally, involving them in memorial activities and using supportive materials like books can aid in their understanding and healing process. Remember to also take care of your own emotional needs during this time, as your well-being is crucial in supporting your family.
Ultimately, celebrating the life and memories of your furry friend can bring comfort and help everyone in the family cherish the time they had together.
